Emotional Affairs in Marital Relationships: How Safe Is Your Marriage?


Jude is a happily married man, a husband to a pretty wife. Their marriage is blessed with a baby boy. Life is truly good. They both have good jobs that take them away from home every morning. They seem to be living their dreams.

But Jude has one habit which his wife detests- his addiction to his mobile devices. Whenever he comes back from work, after taking a shower and eating dinner, he curls up on the couch with his android phone or sometimes his IPad. He sometimes forget to even play with his kid because he is always in a hurry to resume his solid addiction to his gadget.
His wife has noticed his boring attitude and she cant seem to wrap her head around it. However, she continued being a loving wife, hoping he would change someday.

Until one day….
She had taken her husband’s phone to check her mail. Then a message popped in from his WhatsApp: “Hello Jude, we need to talk. I can’t sleep without talking to you. I am missing you and its raining here”.
She almost went mad, knocking things over on her way till she found Jude in the study.


“Can you explain this?” She asked…shoving the phone in his hands.
Guilt was spread over his face. He had no explanation. He looked like a little child caught with his hands in the cookie jar. He began to beg his wife but she stormed away angrily.

Emotional affairs has wrecked many homes causing distrust, anger, loss of affection between spouses.

Hear this, emotional affairs is not gender selective. It happens with both men and women. Both gender are guilty of it.

This kind of affairs begin subtly. It doesn’t necessarily mean they lack affection in their marriages or they don’t love each other but the thrill of being chased, of being appreciated by another man/woman creates the wrong affection which if not checked might lead into full scale adultery.

Some adultery scandals often started from emotional affairs. A boss at the work place chatting an IT student up at night, a woman getting interested in the life of her male junior colleague, a happily married man getting involved with a single lady who just suffered a heartbreak.

Men and women don’t need any good reason to find themselves in these kind of affairs. Social media has made it easy for a lot of people to get involved with people they have never met. Social media enables friendship beyond borders and many people have capitalized on it.

Most times, the deed is far done before the other party becomes aware. Some can easily snap out of it when found out while some who are neck deep in it refuses to let go. This leads to betrayal, hurt and confusion.

Emotional affairs strips men and women of their cloak of integrity, their character become questionable and they refuse to be accountable to their partners. They want to eat their cake and have it.
They defend themselves with the fact that…but its just a simple chat. I haven’t been physical with this person. But going physically intimate is just the next unavoidable step. Because intimacy is watered by constant communication.

Emotional affair is as bad as being physically intimate. In fact it could be worse. Some say they could forgive their men getting physically intimate if he repents but they would never overlook an emotional affair because it is way deeper. It means they have connected mentally, emotionally and gone beyond the boundaries of mere friendship.

Emotional affair will break the heart of your partner. So why engage in it? If you are emotionally involved with anyone, you are a step closer to commiting formication or adultery




Yetunde Olasiyan

Author : Yetunde Olasiyan

Here is a sneek peak: Yetunde Olasiyan is a freelance writer, poet and blogger. She blogs at yetundeolasiyan.com Contact her to pre-order her first book or for any freelance writing gigs on any topic via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com

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